Changing the world

Wow, Just relaxing a bit after watching X2.

I'm really kinda hoping that the end wasn't a set up for the Phoenix saga.

Second, the deleted footage has a must have in it. Cyclops in tight leather and in full bondage on his knees.

Well worth the rental.

How do I use FTP? Been several years since I last tried.

Dave gave me his FTP addy and I have no clue how the hell to use it.

And he also Asked me what has 8 legs and 7 arms.

( answer )

Is a huge mistake.

3 shows are coming to town I want to see, 5 if you count the ones coming next year.

First off, BalletMet is putting on Dracula.

Then Rent comes to town in early November.

And Opera Columbus is putting on Carmen, which my mother and I will be seeing for my birthday.

Kind of upset I couldn't help taocub tonight. I really need to find him on when I'm not being dragged elsewhere.

Doug, click here. It should help you out until I Manage to find you on and am able to actually do something useful for you.

Past that, I got really drunk with Dave and Jonda at work Friday night, and now I can't remember what I said to him. Hopefully, I didn't say or do something really stupid.

And Happy New Year. Next Sunday, I will be taking 3 loaves of bread with me to the Olentangy, since it's been a bad year.

At some point, I'm gonna write out the essay I've had in my head for 3 days, just so I can irk everyone on both sides of the political fence.

Anyway, I am going to bed now. I hope everyone is doing well, and getting pleasure somewhere.

James

Ok, today is the 2 year aniversary of my creating my very own LJ.

Yay.

Spent most of my night at work listening to a Johnny Cash CD Dave (aka the driver I'm currently obsessed with) brought in for our memorial service.

Speaking of which...George W. Bush, Donald Rumsfield, Al Franken, Al Gore, Joe Lieberman, Sen. Kerry, Dick Cheney, and gothic_oreo. Don't ask, I won't tell.

I wish I could figure out Dave, and why the hell I like him. He's a noob for crying out loud. He did, however, offer to burn me a few CD's of his MP3's based on music we've discussed at work. Seems he listens to the same eclectic shit I listen to, and therefore recommends stuff he thinks I might like. *sigh* It's been a long time since I've been able to discuss Rancid, Operation Ivy, Depeche Mode, and assorted other bands no one else has heard of. Kind of nice, really. Also amusing that he has a Pansy Division CD in his car. Half tempted to try to get him a copy of Age of Consent by Bronski Beat just for the hell of it.

This has been a really weird day. I have now officially missed two IM's from guys who are interested in me, which is odd since I'm not anyone's idea of handsome.

The highlight of my day was accidently feeling up one of the drivers at work. I backed into him as he was walking forward, so I got to feel his package for about 5 seconds. That is a pathetic highlight to a day.

Anyway, I ended up charging my rose quartz as part of my midsummer celebration last evening. In keeping wit my ethics, I didn't name names, just specific things I'm looking for, as well as asking for them to be drawn nearer to me. This beats the hell out of the Celine Dion spells of my early days. Admittedly, "Send Me a Lover" got me more than a few dates, but I really hate the song with an undying passion. But it's still a hell of a lot better than "It's all coming back to me", which does wonders as an instant karma spell.

Le sigh. It it too much to ask for a nice gent these days who wants to date? I seem to either get instant marriage proposals or one-night stands anymore. What I really want is someone who wants to date exclusively, but not jump into some kind of mortgage. I've lived with a lover once before, and the entire experience burned me something fierce. Thus the need for time spent together as well as apart.

Enough bitching for one night. Blessed be thee who readeth this. May Zeus look kindly upon you, and Athena bless you with wisdom.

Ok I'm sick, and I'm still moody as hell. Even that rerun of Oz didn't help.

*sighs*

I know what's causing this. Problem being I'm too damn lazy to do anything about it.

Have you ever noticed the farther removed from an anniversary you are, the less likely you are to remember it consciously? It just kinda lingers on the edge of your subconcious.
Been just about 5 years since I last saw Mike. The anniversary of that last goodbye was last week. Didn't even think about it day of, but my thoughts have been of him the past few weeks.
For the few of you who don't know, Mikey was my first. Back in...1988(?) yeah, 1988 it was...just between 6th and 7th grade. Young start. We were in Boy Scouts together. He was the Troop psycho at the time, and I was the geek. And the worst part is that just about everyone in our troop was fucking around. I'll never forget that. The horror and the longing. And finally, we managed to get it right. Did you know we dated 6 years? Probably the longest relationship of anyone I went to high school with. And no one ever knew until the bitter end.I went to college. I decided to see if Mike wanted to get an apartment. When I called, I found out he was in jail.
And then, in 1997, 3 years after the last time I saw him, we got ahold of each other. I went to visit him in Toledo, a few months later he came to visit me. And during that visit, I had closure. I knew the chances of us meeting again were slim after that. Last I heard, he was in Louisiana someplace.

You know, it's kinda funny. I never get that morose over my other ex's. Yeah, every March I swear a bit at Kris, and Rodger's recent enough I don't care. I guess I just thought that in my heart, we'd be together in the end. Whenever I write stories that use real names, the plots usually center around James and Mike, and how they come together. Then I change the names for the final drafts. They're kind of my emotional lighthouse, a way for me to find him again. And I know it won't happen, but damn, I miss him. If he hadn't been there, I don't think I'd be alive right now. Because back then he was my constant. He was the one thing I could count on. And I know my friends get mad at my for dwelling, but it hurts sometimes that the person you love isn't there anymore. And no one knew until after it was over. And even then, no one cared.

Enough. Mike, I hope we meet again. Until then.

Oh where oh where are you tonight
Why did you leave me here all alone
I searched the world over and thought I found true love
But you met another and *pbtt* you were gone.

No clue where the Hee-Haw came from, but hey...

Honestly, spent most of my night at work reflecting on the various turns my life has taken these past few years. At the risk of filling my friends' pages up with more of this adolecent angst crap (I mean honestly...I read some of my past posts and feel like I should be in a corset having vapors), I'd just like to metion a few things here.
I've been thinking about this one-act play my ex wrote a few years back called Taming the Lion. The play was mainly a comedy that centerd on a gay man seducing a straight man. (Yes, that ex was F***ed up in the head. Blame his momma. She runs half the porn stores in Columbus.) He said he got the idea based on watching too many nature shows with his bisexual ex. But the more I think about it, and the nice ep of 6 Feet Under last night, I guess I'm beginning to realize that my dating life has been based on choosing men I know I won't last with. It gives me an excuse to play the pining poet stuck in a loft writing bad love sonntets to someone I don't give a s*** about. That and being accused of trying to commit sexual suicide with the number of random encounters I've had since '99 and my last serious relationship. (Not counting Rodger, who can rot in hell.)
So, to hell with all men. I'm not Lord Byron or Percy Shelly. What I need is a nice sedate romance that doesn't make me all gooshy for 3 months until I get bored and go out of my way to piss the other person off.
And a correction for those who got last night's ramble on my roomies. Leo should be changed to Libra. Gemini sent me a nasty note to that effect this morning.

Ok, there's this guy at work I've had like a mojor crush on for like the last month. Just randomly started one day when he hugged me out of the blue. You know, he's straight but he and I flirt a lot. Well, tinute, out of nowhere, we're slapping dough and talking and he startes doing Romeo's soliloquy from the balcony, and I respond with Juliet's answering speech. We ended up doing most of the Shakespeare we had in commen while making pizzas. It was just so odd, I decided to post it.

lotussilverfire and I cast Beltaine this evening, and once again proved that Circle can be fun. Of course, any other pagan/wiccan probably would have walked out in the middle when we cast for better sex among the gods, but hey....