a quiet night in James land
Aug. 19th, 2003 02:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gangrel_priReally just relaxing a bit now after a bad night at work. Nothing new to report. As I used to label these days in high school in my old journal, "bored and depressed". If I still had a wworking word processor, and the disks that shit was written on, I could probably post enough angst to run a goth club for a week. Or my pseudo-intellectual pieces on various hot button issues of the time. Like my lovely abortion piece concerning chickens and eggs.
I was a dumb-ass at 16. I'm an even bigger one at 27. I have yet to do anything of meaning, and when I die, the experiences I value most will blow away like sand on the wind. I mean, who but me knows and cares about a particular patch of land in Yellow Springs? I have quite a few memories attached to various places out there. Admittedly, several of them are sexual in nature, but hey, it's one of the few things I'm good at. At work, I find old memories creeping back. You'd be amazed how many things you forget that can come back later.
I hate it. I hate feeling like a waste of an egg and a sperm. Hell, I'm not even propigating the species in this life. I have no real reason to exist, biologically speaking.
Fuck.
Everyone pardon me, I seem to have rediscovered my inner teen-ager.
I was a dumb-ass at 16. I'm an even bigger one at 27. I have yet to do anything of meaning, and when I die, the experiences I value most will blow away like sand on the wind. I mean, who but me knows and cares about a particular patch of land in Yellow Springs? I have quite a few memories attached to various places out there. Admittedly, several of them are sexual in nature, but hey, it's one of the few things I'm good at. At work, I find old memories creeping back. You'd be amazed how many things you forget that can come back later.
I hate it. I hate feeling like a waste of an egg and a sperm. Hell, I'm not even propigating the species in this life. I have no real reason to exist, biologically speaking.
Fuck.
Everyone pardon me, I seem to have rediscovered my inner teen-ager.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-08-19 03:58 pm (UTC)Don't sit around thinking about it for another couple of years. Just go do something.
no subject
Date: 2003-08-20 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-20 12:43 am (UTC)It's 3AM.
Tonight, I'm not depressed, but that could be because we learned tonight that the she-beast is leaving before the first of next month!
Where's the party when I want one???
I hope you feel better. The old-and-worthless routine is one I've known personally for a while. I've been broke recently so that just makes the matter worse. My only solace has been that I can write again.
*HUGS*
no subject
Date: 2003-08-20 01:33 am (UTC)Glad to hear the she-beast leviathan is moving...should make life easier for you and Bear.
*HUG*