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May. 24th, 2002
Damn hay fever
May. 24th, 2002 12:19 amOk I'm sick, and I'm still moody as hell. Even that rerun of Oz didn't help.
*sighs*
I know what's causing this. Problem being I'm too damn lazy to do anything about it.
Have you ever noticed the farther removed from an anniversary you are, the less likely you are to remember it consciously? It just kinda lingers on the edge of your subconcious.
Been just about 5 years since I last saw Mike. The anniversary of that last goodbye was last week. Didn't even think about it day of, but my thoughts have been of him the past few weeks.
For the few of you who don't know, Mikey was my first. Back in...1988(?) yeah, 1988 it was...just between 6th and 7th grade. Young start. We were in Boy Scouts together. He was the Troop psycho at the time, and I was the geek. And the worst part is that just about everyone in our troop was fucking around. I'll never forget that. The horror and the longing. And finally, we managed to get it right. Did you know we dated 6 years? Probably the longest relationship of anyone I went to high school with. And no one ever knew until the bitter end.I went to college. I decided to see if Mike wanted to get an apartment. When I called, I found out he was in jail.
And then, in 1997, 3 years after the last time I saw him, we got ahold of each other. I went to visit him in Toledo, a few months later he came to visit me. And during that visit, I had closure. I knew the chances of us meeting again were slim after that. Last I heard, he was in Louisiana someplace.
You know, it's kinda funny. I never get that morose over my other ex's. Yeah, every March I swear a bit at Kris, and Rodger's recent enough I don't care. I guess I just thought that in my heart, we'd be together in the end. Whenever I write stories that use real names, the plots usually center around James and Mike, and how they come together. Then I change the names for the final drafts. They're kind of my emotional lighthouse, a way for me to find him again. And I know it won't happen, but damn, I miss him. If he hadn't been there, I don't think I'd be alive right now. Because back then he was my constant. He was the one thing I could count on. And I know my friends get mad at my for dwelling, but it hurts sometimes that the person you love isn't there anymore. And no one knew until after it was over. And even then, no one cared.
Enough. Mike, I hope we meet again. Until then.
*sighs*
I know what's causing this. Problem being I'm too damn lazy to do anything about it.
Have you ever noticed the farther removed from an anniversary you are, the less likely you are to remember it consciously? It just kinda lingers on the edge of your subconcious.
Been just about 5 years since I last saw Mike. The anniversary of that last goodbye was last week. Didn't even think about it day of, but my thoughts have been of him the past few weeks.
For the few of you who don't know, Mikey was my first. Back in...1988(?) yeah, 1988 it was...just between 6th and 7th grade. Young start. We were in Boy Scouts together. He was the Troop psycho at the time, and I was the geek. And the worst part is that just about everyone in our troop was fucking around. I'll never forget that. The horror and the longing. And finally, we managed to get it right. Did you know we dated 6 years? Probably the longest relationship of anyone I went to high school with. And no one ever knew until the bitter end.I went to college. I decided to see if Mike wanted to get an apartment. When I called, I found out he was in jail.
And then, in 1997, 3 years after the last time I saw him, we got ahold of each other. I went to visit him in Toledo, a few months later he came to visit me. And during that visit, I had closure. I knew the chances of us meeting again were slim after that. Last I heard, he was in Louisiana someplace.
You know, it's kinda funny. I never get that morose over my other ex's. Yeah, every March I swear a bit at Kris, and Rodger's recent enough I don't care. I guess I just thought that in my heart, we'd be together in the end. Whenever I write stories that use real names, the plots usually center around James and Mike, and how they come together. Then I change the names for the final drafts. They're kind of my emotional lighthouse, a way for me to find him again. And I know it won't happen, but damn, I miss him. If he hadn't been there, I don't think I'd be alive right now. Because back then he was my constant. He was the one thing I could count on. And I know my friends get mad at my for dwelling, but it hurts sometimes that the person you love isn't there anymore. And no one knew until after it was over. And even then, no one cared.
Enough. Mike, I hope we meet again. Until then.
Thank you ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
76trombones
May. 24th, 2002 01:43 amThese are rather funny. sarya, I thought they provided a rather nice contrast to the venom of Fred Phelps.
http://member.newsguy.com/~satire/god.html
http://www.godhatesfigs.com
Who knew satire would cheer me up a bit?
I'm adding this on later for the sake of friends.
you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.
take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the
slinkstercool community.
sarya, I thought they provided a rather nice contrast to the venom of Fred Phelps.http://member.newsguy.com/~satire/god.html
http://www.godhatesfigs.com
Who knew satire would cheer me up a bit?
I'm adding this on later for the sake of friends.
you're the virgin suicides. you're sad but pretty, and very, very dreamy.
take the which prettie movie are you? quiz, a product of the
slinkstercool community.