Just say NO! to tree sex!
Millions of people in the USA are suffering due to immoral trees pollinating each other during the spring. These trees are performing sexual reproduction without the benefit of MATRIMONY! This has got to stop!
Sexual reproduction outside of wedlock will lead these trees straight to HELL and they will take us, the taxpayers of AMERICA with them if we don't stop them from flaunting their fornication! Every spring, trees and weeds which haven't so much as talked to a clergyman in their lifetime release their foul pollen into the air, dropping their disgusting seed on the ground like Onan. And we, the moral folks of the USA must suffer sneezing, wheezing, swollen eyes, and runny noses thanks to these hell bound plants.
How can we save our nation from this immorality and save ourselves from false idols like Benedryll and Allegra?
We must teach these trees that reproduction must be done with the male organ on top of the female organ, under the sheets, in a bedroom, instead of out in public like some deviant pervert. We must go forth and show these trees that their tree sex MUST be done only after marriage. We must marry these little hippie flower children and save them and ourselves from HELL! Only then will our suffering end.
(Yeah, allergy medicine does weird things to me.)
Well, they got my in really quick, probably due to me being able to take advantage of the ENT room. They looked into my ears and discovered that my canals were clogged with wax. YAY!
So, after I'd been sitting there for an hour (there was a clock in the room), they came in and poured this crap down my ears to loosen up the stuff. The resident came in and looked again, and still couldn't see shit, but after she did so, the nurse came in and irrigated them. He seemed quite impressed with the size of the stuff that came out when he squirted the stuff down my ear with the economy syringe from hell.
Well, finally, he got all the crap out. So then the Doctor came in, looked at my eardrum and said, "Wow! That's an infection! Do you mind if I let some of my residents see it?" At this point, I'm covered in water, feel like crap, and just want a cigarette, so I say, "Sure."
Well, after all that, they give me a nice dose of antibiotics, and tell me that I need to clean my ears with alcohol and vinegar every few days.
Then, as I walked home after 4 hours in the hospital, I notice that some idiotic student org (I think it's Greek Life) has chalked all the sidewalk with "Why are you here?". On the bright side, some person has already goe through and hit some of them with the clever retort "get laid." This saves me from trying to hit the thousand chalkings with a big boog of Plato to critisize the idiocy of the question.