Jan. 8th, 2014 01:27 pm
gangrel_pri: (me)
Well, a friend of mine writes a psychology blog, and his post today struck an old nerve with me.

See, I remember studying the Dysfunctional Family model back at Teen Institute, except we had the heads of household included. You know, Addict and Co-dependent. At larger events, we'd expand out the model to include the larger community in it's relations to the core family. Things like the judge sentencing the scapegoat to jail time, or myself and my friend Tammy as neighbors going to each kid and going "Here's a cookie! Your daddy's just sleeping!"

In truth, growing up with my mom, who displayed most of the symptoms of co-dependency (I think the addict in the model would be my hated uncle), I usually got stuck in the role of Mascot or Lost child. Yeah, I scapegoated a few times, and occasionally played the hero, but most of my role growing up was either staying the fuck out of sight or using humor to try to defuse the situations as the arose.

This has largely carried over into my adult life. I mean yes, I have a temper and am quite capable of asserting myself when pushed too far, but for the most part, I either hide or try to make a joke about things when shit gets rough. So many actions of my adult life have been attempts to deflect focus off of myself.

Anyway, enough about me. Off to shower.


Nov. 8th, 2013 09:37 pm
gangrel_pri: (me)
So, I haven't updated in a while, mainly due to lack of much of anything to say.

I find my tongue is getting sharper as the weather cools and the business begins the march towards the Holidays.

I find my anger is getting misdirected and leaking out at bad times.

So, yeah, hello Winter.
gangrel_pri: (me)
The other day, I ran across this site, which ended up royally pissing me off.

Let me start by stating I had my Eagle Court of Honor on October 16th, 1992. I also had my first voluntary sexual experiences with a member of my troop, and my troop's Senior Patrol Leader was the one who taught many of us how to masturbate. I was not the only one who had a cock in one of my orifices at an event, nor was I the only one to shove my dick in someone else's orifice at an event. This was not limited to my troop, nor my council.

Most of the adult leaders at one point or another let slip some of the much more flagrent violations of policy in their youth. (Admittedly, most of those were drug/alcohol related, but still...) I still recall the cannabis plants growing in the Staff area at my Council's big summer camp.

They found one pedophile while I was still in Scouts. He was married with children. And he masturbated a kid in a wheelchair.

So why am I ranting about this shit now? National's policy and most of the commentary against changing the policy completely ignore the reality on the ground. And a good majority of the current regulations, for that matter. Because if we pretend that no sex ever happens, then BSA should cut the entire requirements added since I left the program about avoiding sexual predators. Because involuntary sex still involves the dirty dangly parts. BSA would also need to appoint morality monitors to follow around all Scouts and make sure nothing at all related to sex issues forth from a Scout or Adult Leader during any Scouting event. (And give we're discussing 12-18 year old boys, I wish them really good luck with that.)

You can't stop reality from intruding on ideological bullshit that only seems to exist in the warped dreamscape of National Council, which in turn is allegedly being held hostage by certain Evangelical, Mormon, and Catholic interests. What you can do is start figuring out how best to address the reality, and maybe, just maybe work on a better narrative that becomes much more inclusive and can better apply the values I was taught in Boy Scouts. Because half of what I was taught revolved around leadership, and the other half revolved around learning to make decisions for myself based on the best information presented. Plus a bunch of outdoor skills that still get practiced. Maybe not so much Metal Craft, but the point remains.

I hate seeing an organization I loved one upon a time start falling apart because it can't adapt to circumstances that no longer want to remain hidden in a closet with other skeletons just to appease an increasingly brittle ideology that has never been based in reality.

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